i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
