why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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