We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
