is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
