i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
