I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
