Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
