I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
