I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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