You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
