Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
