If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
