that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
