kristin has been a bad kristin
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
