I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
