the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
