Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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