It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fuck appropriateness.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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