plz talk dirty to me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
