The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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