i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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