perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You are a genius and a whore.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
