after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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