is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
