NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
