There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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