That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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