is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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