Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
