Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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