she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
