I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
