Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
