I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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