Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
