how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
