READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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