To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
