He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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