The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
