I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize