roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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