How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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