I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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