found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So many bounce houses so little time
She even gives head with a lisp.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
