Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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