Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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