Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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