oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
