just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
