I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize