Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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