you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
