hotel room ftw
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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