Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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