where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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