i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
