you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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