Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize