Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize