try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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