hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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