Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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